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Joke of the Day

"[True story] Saw a guy in a wheelchair going into the gym. .. My first thought was, ""well I guess he won't be doing legs today."" I'll show myself out."

"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."

"New health study on the psychology of midgets Shows that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy"

"Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie"

"*puts message in a bottle *stares longingly out at sea and throws it in *gets tazed and arrested for littering"

"And satan said ""let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you"" and it was so"

"Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM! -high fives Socrates-"

"I would never exaggerate... ...in a million years."

"Gf: am I pretty or ugly? Bf: you're both hun :) Gf: what do you mean both? Bf: you're pretty ugly."

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator"