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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep a jack ass in suspense? Sorry, someone just knocked on my door. I will have to submit the answer tomorrow."

"When you hug someone, think of all the poop you are just inches away from."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, ""Hey - that's pretty cool. Where did you get him?"" The parrot says, ""Detroit."""

"Hi college freshmen! I hope when you selected bedding for your dorm room you asked yourself, ""Can I see myself throwing up on this pattern?"""

"Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread."

"What if we all do not exist and God is alone just imagining us?"

"Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion."

"What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Helllooooo ladies!"

"Your mom and a Volkswagon have something in common They're both 40 times dirtier than advertised."

"What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer? ...mainly SMALL ARMS."