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Joke of the Day

"The police and a hole. There is a sinkhole in the street and the police are looking into it. Oh yeah, Jerry fell in from looking to closely."

"""Do you come here often"", she asked... ""No, usually in my belly button"", I replied."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Caterpillar ! Caterpillar who ? Caterpillar a few mice for you !"

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"I remember the first time I ever masturbated... ... it was a seminal moment."

"If you have a pet parrot and don't teach it to say ""Help they've turned me into a parrot"", you're wasting everyone's time."

"Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really."

"Imagine me sitting alone, pouting in a wedding dress with a defeated slump and unwrapping and eating a Snickers bar. That's my fetish."

"What do you call a black hipster? An idiot."