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Joke of the Day

"What did the Buddhist Monk say to the Hot Dog Vendor? ""Make me one with everything"" (assuming he would be able to talk in the first place)"

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator."

"I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?"

"Spiderman ruined romance for me. Please don't even think of kissing me unless you're hanging upside down from a building."

"The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating... The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore."

"Do you remember that time you met Bill Cosby? No? Add another one to the list!"

"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Hello Pregnant"", he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. ""I'm Dad"""

"I used to have a job eating vegetables I hated it, but the celery was good"

"Best part of Donald Trump giving you a hand job. His little hands make your dick look bigger."

"What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? There are twenty of them.."