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Joke of the Day

"Finally Gay and Lesbian couples can get married... It's about time they were allowed to be as miserable as the rest of us."

"My mate's gambling is getting out of hand. He's just bet his newborn son in our game of poker. I thought, ""I might have to raise him."""

"Sex burns 300 calories an hour. After doing some extensive calculations, this year I burned roughly 5 calories."

"I was constipated today and cursed my butt with an appropriate word Asshole."

"My dad caught me masturbating the other day. He said ""son, you'll go blind"" I said ""dad, I'm over here"""

"What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch? Bernie Sanders exists."

"My doctor told me I had to quit masturbating Turns out it was because he was trying to examine me"

"How many dead memes does it take to change a lightbulb? Twenty-one."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""I don't think I can get hard -- I just got laid this morning!"

"What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble? ""I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"""