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Joke of the Day

"Having a Hot Wife is like being a diabetic with a coupon for unlimited cheesecakes. It may look nice but you never get to use it. Source: Have a Hot Wife, Never get laid"

"My 2 year old woke up. 5 minutes of ""Mommy!"" 5 minutes of ""Mommy?"" Said ""Daddy?"" one time & my wife said, ""You should go check on her""."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming"

"What do you call an emo on a hiking trip? Cliffhanger."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza can have pepperoni, Jews can't. Oh, and that other thing."

"Two prostitutes are walking down the street... One turns to the other and asks ""have you been picked up by the fuzz yet?"" The other replies ""No, but I've been slung around by my tits"""

"""Will I ever live in a clean house again?"" *shakes magic 8 ball *magic 8 ball explodes and makes a mess"

"I put the FU in FUN "

"There is no panic like the panic you feel when you think you may have clogged the toilet at someone else's house."

"Where does Hillary Clinton eat at to appeal to Asian voters? Pander Express."