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Joke of the Day

"When I go to the movies alone, I take a clipboard so everyone thinks I'm a professional movie reviewer and not an awkward friendless loner."

"You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity?"

"Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent? Because he was bored of the rings!"

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who always lose their train of thought"

"Reddit. Now a tool for the NSA."

"When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume."

"The only thing I know about Women: They don't like being told what to do unless they're naked."

"I don't know why they call it a period. At my house it's more like ""!#%* you, you piece of $&!@""."

"Early this morning I was sitting on the beach wondering where the sun was... then it dawned on me"

"What is agitated buy joyful? A washing machine"