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Joke of the Day
"What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom? A chicken stepping on a landmine."
Next Joke
"If I had a dollar for every time a woman found me unattractive... They'd eventually find me attractive"
"I don't usually make anal sex jokes... ...butt fuck it"
"In a lesbian relationship who makes the sandwich? Neither. They both eat out!"
"Turns out chiropractors aren't actually dinosaurs."
"What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants? Silicone Valley"
"And Lord said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came 5th... He got a toaster"
"Wife: Let's go outside. 3-year-old: No! The deer will eat me. Wife: Deer don't eat people 3: The zombie ones do Wife: Get your dad. Now."
"{Working as a bouncer} ID please *looks* Okay you can go *softly kisses their forehead first*"
"What tense do Italians speak in? Pasta continuous."