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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time a woman found me unattractive... They'd eventually find me attractive"

"What did Elon Musk get after his talk on colonizing Mars? Shit questions."

"Every year there's a teacher I hate. The past three years it's been my 10th grade teacher."

"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."

"It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine"

"I can't be bothered with trivial details. Like facts."

"Remember April showers bring May flowers. But, Mayflowers being smallpox."

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"Unshakable Fact # 4 Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was killed by the woman's husband."

"Definition of FACEBOOK? It's a place where Boy posts a Joke, Gets No Response....And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests."