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Joke of the Day

"Oral relief 'Darling, I want some.... Oral relief.' 'You mean you want a blowjob?' 'No, I just want you to shut up.'"

"Jesus walks into a hotel Lays a handful of nails on the counter and asks the attenant ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"I would make a sexist joke but... That would be wrong, and being wrong is for women."

"I don't have shit to say and"

"if i told you you have a beautiful body.... would you hold it against me?"

"Q. What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster? A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)"

"My Facebook ""News Feed"" should be renamed ""A bunch of boring fucking idiots who have horrible grammar"" feed."

"Ever heard of rodeo sex? NSFW That's where you mount her from behind, then lean forward and whisper ""this is how your sister liked it."" and see if you can stay on for ten seconds! :)"

"His icy glare melts my creamy core. He's so cold, beads of water drip down his exterior. My walls ache to be drowned by him. -Oreo to milk"

"What does Tony Romo and a porn star have in common? They both know how to choke."