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Joke of the Day

"I haven't slept for 3 days... Because that would be way too long."

"Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way We urn it."

"I'm a heavy sleeper. Also, a heavy awaker. Okay, I'm fat."

"Do you like your new baby sister? She's all right. Do you play with her? No and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 28 days."

"What's the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff."

"I have earned 800.25 as a male prostitute Too bad each of them paid 0.25"

"How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a light-bulb? (It's not >9000) FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGGGGON BAAAAL ZEEEEEEEEE"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they are dead."

"What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas? No pressure"

"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."