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Joke of the Day
"What did the 0 say to the 8? ""Nice fuckin' belt."""
Next Joke
"Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange. No weirdos."
"just saw a church sign that says, ""santa claus never died for anyone."" and i'm like, ""okay well jesus never brought me a barbie dreamhouse."""
"Here, take my advice. It's not like I'm using it..."
"Him: You smell good...what are you wearing? Me: Weed."
"How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake? They're attractive!"
"Is there a month between April and June? May be"
"I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse."
"Why didn't the fiddler have to pay for anything? Because it was all on the house"
"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"