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Joke of the Day

"Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives."

"What is the best method of separating juice? by concentration."

"Why is a gay guy dating someone named Andy particularly useful? Because he might come in Andy"

"[Best man speech] I HAVE DEFEATED THE OTHER MEN IN THIS WEDDING PARTY TO EMERGE AS THE BEST, THE MICROPHONE SHALL BE MINE FOOLISH MORTALS!"

"Linguistics Student: ""What's a glottal fricative?"" ""*Heavy sigh*"""

"Sex is like a gas station..!! Sometime you get full service... Sometimes you gotta ask for service and sometimes you have to be happy with self service.!"

"I opened a company selling prayer mats with land mines in them.. Prophets are going through the roof!"

"An elephant, a 500lb gorilla, and a naked emperor walk into a room Nobody says a thing."

"Cake: the answer, no matter the question."

"Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over? Him:... Me: Good answer"