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Joke of the Day

"[party in 1939] teen: truth or dare hitler: dare teen: dare you to invade poland hitler: omg no way u guys all the teens: DO IT DO IT"

"A buddy of mine isn't sure whether he believes in creamy holiday beverages or not. He's eggnogstic."

"Self-absorbed people are the worst. They are always thinking about themselves when they should be thinking about me."

"don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather"

"A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, ""Got any ID?"" The driver says, ""'Bout what?"""

"Sometimes it just doesn't feel like putting the lotion on its skin."

"Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with."

"""I'd hit that."" Clearly what my head thinks about cupboard doors and other hard surfaces when I least expect it."

"How many Police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"I got fired from the banana plantation for ""wasting resources"" All i did was throw out the Bent ones"