12411

Joke of the Day

"We're sorry Micky Mouse, but your wife being crazy is not reasonable grounds for a divorce! I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

"His last words were, ""I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."""

"The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you're fighting with your brother."

"Bollywood movies are so long... I started watching one in 2014 and it's just finished in 2015."

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Nevermind, I just boiled the egg."

"A humorous joke to say on January 1st, ""I haven't had sex since LAST year!"" When really it's only been 21 years, 3 months and 18 days."

"It always amuses me when I see tweets from people clearly using words they don't understand, thus making themselves look aerodynamic."

"Stepped into a spot this morning, where my dog had an accident. Unfortunately for her, taxidermy comes before training in the phone book"

"I'm a virgin by choice. Just not my choice."

"Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes I'm no good at math!"