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Joke of the Day

"Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet"

"[GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!"

"No Linda, I CAN'T believe how early it's getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn't."

"What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common? Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it"

"Best Blonde Joke Ever What is the funniest blonde joke you've ever heard?"

"Red, White, and Blue are the colors of Freedom... ... Until they're flashing behind your car."

"I bought a dog from a blacksmith as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door."

"Dictators make great rulers... if you make a bunch of one centimeter marks on them while they're asleep."

"Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween? Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors"

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary and those that don't."