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Joke of the Day

"What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas? Cancer. Happy new years folks!"

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if architects in those days had just made their towns big enough for everyone."

"She texted me, ""your adorable."" I replied, ""No, YOU'RE adorable."" Now she's stalking me and all I did was point out her typo."

"What's it called when you a kill a sapling? Arbortion"

"Why did Toby rape a girl? He couldn't Turner on"

"putting a sweater on your dog?? lol what's next, another harmless thing that only bothers me because i'm lonely"

"Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die? Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground (Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)"

"How many feminists does it take...... ...to change a light bulb? 0, woman are so unrepresented in technology that this is not possible."

"What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell. She's got a grenade in her mouth."

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!"