48726

Joke of the Day

"How do you tell if someone is ticklish? Testicles."

"Two Mexicans What do you call two Mexicans in the back of a fire truck? Jose and Hose B"

"What's the difference between ""ooo"" and ""ahhhh""? About 3 inches."

"I asked God for a bike... ... but then realized that is not how God works. So I stole some kid's bike and asked God for forgiveness."

"[shady nighttime meeting at the aquarium] AQUARIUM EMPLOYEE: eels are already pretty slippery man ME: shut up and help me butter them"

"I'm a heavy sleeper. Also, a heavy awaker. Okay, I'm fat."

"When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha"

"The rest of the world uses Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. I just learned some girl I hated in high school likes her new pedicure."

"What do we want? SOME GOOD DECISIONS! When do we want them? BEFORE LAST NIGHT!"

"heres a bad joke your life"