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Joke of the Day

"*Queen bee in hive* ""You, go pollinate flowers"" ""You, go make some honey"" ""You, go buzz around some humans and ruin their picnic lol"""

"A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks her if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus."

"A Rabbi and a Catholic Priest... are sitting on a park bench when a kid walks by. The Catholic Priest says, ""We should screw him!"" and the Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"What does an assassin do in the waiting room? He kills time. (I'll get the door after my appointment)"

"99% of the world can't count. I'm just glad I'm part of the other 4%."

"How many bottles of beer does it take to kill someone? One, if you throw it hard enough."

"Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)"

"*catcher puts 1 finger down* *pitcher shakes head* *puts 2 fingers down* *nods* (catcher to umpire) ""can we take a break? he has to poop"""

"Most of my time is spent trying to work ""That's So Raven"" into everyday conversation."

"If Jesus appears to you... Ask him to bevel-cut a jack rafter onto a door header. If he doesn't know what you mean, that's an imposter Jesus."