170626

Joke of the Day

"Cole Wagner's new sports nickname is Jared Fogle. Because he just fucked nine twelve year-olds from Missouri"

"What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles? Heir mail"

"Light beer is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"

"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"

"See above is an understatement."

"Chemistry joke... I would tell a chemistry joke, but there'd be no reaction."

"I don't see the point of strip clubs. All they do is frustrate you and take all your money. I have a wife for that."

"Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments."

"Do you think Dr. Seuss' wife liked to be called Ma? Because if so she would be a Ma Seuss."

"This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered. I looked down at my crotch and she said, ""The other side."""