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Joke of the Day

"GW... You can say what you want about the Boron but at least he Phosphorus. Also, in jokes the comics _did_ Barium. edit: Hope you get it, Bromine."

"What is 6.9? A wonderful thing ruined by a period"

"[waking up as an adult] What a beautiful day. I wonder what parts of my body will hurt today"

"Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!"

"A farmer planted a crop of puns They were home groan."

"What's the tallest building? A library, because it has so many stories."

"When I'm at a friend's house & there are snacks, all I'm thinking is ""How do I eat everything without looking like a homeless person?"""

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan"

"My wife found out I was cheating... ... after she found the letters I was hiding. She got real mad and said that she'd never play Scrabble with me ever again."

"Please don't put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body."