170204

Joke of the Day

"My retirement plan is pretty much dependent on the Mayans being right."

"What is the difference between michael jackson,and neil armstrong... neil armstrong was the first man to walk on the MOON,and michael jackson likes to fuck little boys in the ass."

"Girl, are you the New Deal? Because I can feel my infrastructure expanding."

"Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare."

"What do you get if you boil funnybones? A laughing stock."

"I didn't choose the pervert life,the pervert life chose me."

"What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired? Pants."

"How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo? Julio"

"Concentration Camps (x-post from /r/Poems) Guess Who? It's a Jew Concentration camps for You! Boo Hoo! It's a Haiku F*** You. Edit: I know it's not a haiku."

"while out today at a restaurant... my waitress had a black eye. so when i ordered i made sure i talked verrrryyyy slowww obviously she wasnt a good listener."