170204
Joke of the Day
"My retirement plan is pretty much dependent on the Mayans being right."
Next Joke
"A vegan, a gap year student and a girl with a boyfriend walk into a bar Who tells you first?"
"Good thing it's Valentines day, cause I woke up with a massive heart on!"
"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"
"English joke - What's another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses"
"Muslim women should be our allies... Because they will never suck a cops dick."
"Test boast, please ignore. Mitochondria are better than yourtochondria."
"What's the best thing about fucking 93 year olds? NOTHING!!!"
"When done right parallel parking is a beautiful thing to watch."
"I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff"