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Joke of the Day

"I just sneezed so violently, I think it qualifies as an ab workout. (Screw you, I'm counting it.)"

"What idiot called them ""cannibals"" and not ""humanitarians""?"

"I am probably single....because i didnt forward those chain messages in 2008"

"How do Africans carry Ebola? In large baskets balanced on top of their heads."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back"

"Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"What was Albert Einsteins DJ name? MC Squared"

"Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side."

"Someone told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"