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Joke of the Day

"Dairy farmers are always complaining about the wages they get paid... To be honest, I think they're milking it"

"Psychiatrist to his nurse: ""Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"""

"I think I'm overcoming dyslexia. I learned a new abbreviation today: DNA, or National Dyslexic Association."

"Only in SF: people checking into the riot on Foursquare."

"Sure laying me down on a ""Bed of Roses"" sounds all romantic and shit, but I much rather lay on a bed of fries and onion rings."

"Its me and my son's birthday next week so were doing a joint party. We've ordered a Tinkerbell cake for him, but she will be topless for me."

"Another grandfather joke This was my grandfather's favorite, since we're doing this now: What happened when the man lost his suspenders? He became one of those For Whom the Belt Holds"

"[approaches parent with child on a leash] ""Mind if I pet your dog?"" Hey that's my son! ""Oh my bad. Mind if I pet your son?"""

"Whenever my parents talk about the good old days' they always seem to stop at 1979. Which is pretty cool, because that's also the year I was born... wait... what?"

"Two prostitutes are discussing One asks the other: -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year? The other one answers: -Oh fifty dollars, like everybody else, why?"