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Joke of the Day

"As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror. I think that says alot."

"What's so good about being Swiss? Well, the flag is a big plus."

"Here is my online impression of an extractor fan. I used to like tractors. I don't now"

"Just got an email from a necrophiliac wishing me dead. Hey, thanks for the compliment!"

"When you get a 3D printer, don't mess around. Go straight to printing money."

"6 and 7 are hanging out. 6 says ""you wanna grab a drink?"" 7 says, ""Nah, I aint ate yet."""

"Referring to one's self in the third person is really obnoxious, but you refer to yourself in the second person and it confuses everyone. It's probably why you have no friends."

"Ahhhh, Pawn Stars So, I walk into Rick Harrison pawn shop and I ask, ""Can I have change for a dollar?"" He responds,""I can only do 75."""

"What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted murder."

"What should you do when you meet a beautiful woman with sparkling eyes, wet lips, pink cheeks, shivering body.... Keep going! She has flu symptoms!"