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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops? It makes you look hard"

"Yo mamas ass is so fat She dont wear DENIM she wears DAMN!"

"The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside."

"[after lover's spat] ME: Honey. Lamb chop. Sweetie cakes. HER: You're just naming foods. ME: Pumpkin. Muffin. HER: ... ME: Zucchini bread."

"What's the difference between a Russian bot and a sincere Trump supporter? One of them actually exists and the other *ees teepeecal Amyerikyan pyatriot*."

"Saw an ad for a used battery in the paper today: ""Slightly rusty, in need of repair but has potential"""

"Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed."

"On a hot day, what did the pig say to the other pig after he came back from the car? ""It's bacon in there!"""

"I said hello to a feminist... my court trial is tomorrow"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Because they can't change anything."