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Joke of the Day

"MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it's like they had those babies for nothing."

"What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon? ""Can someone get me some dry socks?"""

"Why do you never see red headed Jazz musicians? They have no soul..."

"You have the face of a saint. Which one? Saint Bernard."

"When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a ""mean drunk"" or a ""happy drunk."" Gets me out of it every time."

"my boss tried to throw me under the bus.. and get me to agree with him."

"Did you hear about the lawyer for U2? He was Pro-Bono"

"I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit."

"My wife likes to talk to me after sex. It really bugs me when she calls me from her hotel room."

"What's Mr T's favourite dessert? Petit Filous (Credit goes to my ex wife for this one)."