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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into library & asks if they have any books on coincidences. The librarian says, ""As a matter of fact, this one's just arrived."""

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"What's Jared Fogle's favorite weather? El nino."
"Why did the Computer Engineer retire young? He had a lot of cache."
"What's the definition of vagina? The box a penis comes in."
"[turning off Shrek 2] well, i'd say that movie was shrekcellent! ""trent, 1 more shrek pun and i'm divorcing you."" oh karen, don't ogre-react"
"[therapy] WIFE: he favors our son over our daughter ME: No way, I love whatsherface just as much as I love Johnny"
"Donald Trump for President."
"Was accused of animal abuse for using an electric collar but bitch kept calling it ""domestic violence"""
"No need to worry if your parachute don't unfold... ... You'll have the rest of your life to fix it."
"What do you call a train full of Jews? Doesn't matter they're not coming back."