99705

Joke of the Day

"Two guys walk into a bar You would think the second one would've ducked..."

"[Doctors appointment] Me: It hurts when I go like this. *gets up and leaves and goes to work*"

"Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole."

"When someone on the bus wants your seat, what should you say? If you were me, will you let me have your seat? If he answer no, don't let him sit. If he answer yes, you don't even need to move."

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well... I was amazed, I never knew they worked."

"Two clowns are eating a cannibal. The first clown says to the second ""I think we're doing this joke wrong""."

"I told my blond friend, that they have higher risk of cancer. The next day she colored her hair black. courtesy: Choke by Chuck palahniuk"

"Dinosaur grandparents probably made racist remarks about mammals as their grandkids listened in horror."

"What's the best way to grease a Ferrari? Run over an Italian."

"What are the only two similarities between my favorite buger joint, and the orgy I just had? Nothing but Five Guys, extra salty EDIT: Also, I can't type. Burger*"