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Joke of the Day

"X-post from r/jokes: Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

"*wakes up from 20 year coma* SHIT, MY TAMOGOTCHI"

"Why do computer programmers spend so much time in the shower? The directions clearly state: ""Rinse, lather, repeat"""

"For a final paper, I was assigned to write 3000 words So I put 3 pictures in there."

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office I will find you. You have my word."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"" (as told by my Irish granddad)"

"And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter."

"Star Wars joke: What is the Rancor's favorite candy? Jawa breakers."

"If Nefertiti owned a topless bar which served tea she could have marketed her business with t-shirts. You could call them 'Nefertiti's titties, tease, teas, and tees.' Edit: better grammar/phrasing."

"A WOMAN: i've only been washing my hair ME: IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM SINK!! ME TOO!! THE WOMAN: once a ME: ONCE I WAKE UP I KNOW SAME ME TOO!!"