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Joke of the Day

"The entire history of the universe could be seen as a slow growth, expansion and coalescence of consciousness, were it not for Sarah Palin."

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"The word condominium has the word condom in it. hehe ;)"
"Why didn't the art thief get away? Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh."
"What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway? Sub humans."
"Stop chicken mass production... You're making them eggs-hausted!"
"Why did Muhammad cross the road? You should not question the prophet's motives infidel!"
"My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower."
"Wearing your emotions on you sleeve(less shirt). the only emotion you wear with a sleeveless shirt is the one that let's people know you're a tough guy who makes a little less than $26,000 a year."
"""Thanks for sending me that 17 second cellphone video from that concert you went to! The audio and video were amazing!"" - said no one, ever"
"Want to annoy the man in your life? Pronounce MMA ""mama""."