16882

Joke of the Day

"[Gets on one knee] Margaret- [Pulls out ring] Will you- will you please hide this, Gollum won't stop following me."

"Where do ants keep their armies? in their sleevies"

"Kidnapping Catnapping keeps you well rested, kidnapping gets you arrested."

"Why do cats and dogs lick their own genitals? Because they can reach."

"Say what you will about that pilot... ...but at least he died doing what German's love most. Mass murdering innocent people."

"The reason angels can fly... ...is that they take themselves lightly. **G. K. Chesterton**"

"If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!"

"Nice try, blocked number but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"GENIE: you have three wishes. ME: sweet, I wish for pie. GENIE: okay, whatever, you have 3.14 wishes."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a trinary joke."