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Joke of the Day

"And Jesus said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"". But John came fifth, and won a toaster."

"What does a girl from Alabama say after having sex? Get off me Dad! You're crushing my smokes!"

"What do you call 24 carrots? Edible gold."

"""Room service? Send up a larger room."""

"What do you call a belt made of clocks? A waist of time"

"If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July"

"I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive."

"Two kids Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."

"How do you break a Polish man's finger? Punch him in the nose."

"If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa."