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Joke of the Day

"Just finished writing my will. In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, I'm about to try resolving some issues regarding my iTunes library."

"2 whales walk into a bar. First whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo Second whale says: Shut up Steve, you're drunk"

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant."

"Words can't describe how beautiful you are But numbers can. 2/10"

"What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate? Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm..."

"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"Do you know why the Little Mermaid wore seashells? Because she was too small for D shells."

"Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk."

"BOVINE HIJINX Q; What do cows do for fun? A: They go to the moo-vies!"

"Sorry I'm late. My dog ate my car."