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Joke of the Day

"When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!"

"What's the hardest thing about Rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay."

"What does a carpenter do after one night stand? A matching one for the other side of the bed."

"Wife: It's not a chick flick! Me: was the movie released in February? W: yes. M: are they standing back to back on the cover? W: sigh.. yes"

"After weeks of being called lazy, not only did I put up all our Christmas decorations today, I also took them down."

"My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :("

"Where will you never find a hipster fish? The mainstream"

"People complain about the weather and politics till the cows come home... and then they complain about how there are cows in their house."

"No honey, there isn't a neighbor working with a nail gun this early. That was just my knees creaking when I got out of bed."

"Why was the dog banned from the redwood forest? He was barking up the wrong tree."