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Joke of the Day

"We get it poets: things are like other things"

"And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids."

"According to movies when a huge object is chasing you, left and right turns do not exist."

"At my funeral I'm going to have a Sharpie chained to the coffin so friends can draw one last dick on my face."

"What's the difference between a bitch and a slut? A slut fucks everybody, a bitch fucks everyone but you."

"I've dated a vegetarian, trust me, they put meat in their mouth."

"What does the Fox say? not the news"

"What did the dad buffalo say when his offspring left for college? Bison"

"Wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide ? NO"

"Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up."