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Joke of the Day

"I have sexdaily *dyslexia"

"James Bond is my favorite drunk, horny murderer."

"Love many, trust few, and learn to paddle your own canoe."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's Dead."

"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."

"Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear You can actually hear the world getting smarter."

"Why do Australians suck at chess? Because they keep saying ""checkmate"" when the game's not over."

"Just watched my wedding video backwards - Loved the part where I took off the ring, left the church, and fucked off with my friends"

"What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner? When the power goes off."

"I wish robot servants were affordable already."