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Joke of the Day

"who many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb? two. one to screw in the bulb and and to hold the cock, LADDER!"

"*leaves church* *sees McChicken video* *goes back to church*"

"Some people tell me I have a superiority complex. But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it."

"Robert Downey Jr. went on a trip to the Virgin Islands Now it's just called "" The Islands."""

"ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now."

"Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section."

"If you don't like my selfies, maybe you shouldn't have such a beautiful friend. Maybe you aren't ready to handle that kind of responsibility"

"This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is funny and spontaneous', yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming."

"Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence? For example : Mr.Walter is in a comma"

"What did the physicist say when his wife wanted to go jewelery shopping? ""I don't have the energy for this."""