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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet? Tony."

Next Joke
 
"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Pat him or her on the back and say, ""Their, they're..."""
"Pour motor oil over a stack of CDs. Ta-da! Robot pancakes."
"People keep telling me I'm beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have."
"*placing Trump & Hillary signs on my lawn Neighbor: ""Confused about who to vote for?"" Me: ""What? No! I'm making a Halloween haunted house."""
"I've got an Uncle Rube. I mean he's really my mother's sister's roommate's friend's hairdresser's step-dad, but the effect is the same."
"What is Jose Cuervo's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird."
"Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis."
"Why does OP never deliver? [removed]"
"Talk shit about Billy Joel to me & you'll get BLOCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCKED. You oughta know by now."