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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road? A rackless driver..."
Next Joke
"People need to learn how to take a compliment... Just today I complimented the most epic mustache I've ever seen and the lady didn't even say thanks."
"Why are notes natural leaders? Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent."
"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law, the other is a sick bird. Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!"
"High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway"
"I have the body of a 25 year supermodel... but it takes too much space in my freezer."
"Tim's father has three sons: Snap, crackle, and...? Tim"
"What drove the British mystery fan insane? He lost his Marples."
"[campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs."
"What are some outstanding hamburger colleges? Brandeis Cowlifornia State Hoofstra Pen State Ranchelaer Polytechnic Burgereley and Moosouri!"