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Joke of the Day
"What kind of shoes does a thief wear? Sneakers."
Next Joke
"What do you call an Italian mobster who specializes in cold coffee drinks? Al Frap-Pacino"
"Some guy beside me farts, so I say : ""Hey! Some arsehole's talking shit behind your back!"""
"If I answer you with my voice two octaves higher than normal, ""whaaaaat?!"" then one octave lower than normal, ""noooooo,"" the answer was yes."
"My Weed dealer needed to do his laundry So I sold him a dime bag of quarters, but I cut it with some canadian shit."
"My company put me up in the cheapest hotel... I called down to the front desk and said ""I've got a leak in my sink."" They said ""Go ahead."""
"To the 11 year old girl on FB with the relationship status ""it's complicated"" How can it be complicated? Did he take your animal crackers?"
"What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse? A brothel sprout"
"What's everyone doing for Seis de Mayo?"
"Wife: ""I'm tired of you endlessly misquoting Arnold Schwarzenegger films. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""You'll be back."""