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Joke of the Day

"It is nearly impossible to find an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. They are all optical Aleutians."

"Welcome to the dark side. We have.... Well, we can't see what we have. It's dark."

"Overheard in the jewelry shop: ""I swallowed for this??"""

"When someone asks how I feel, I always answer ""Squishy and like I've done something wrong"""

"What is the Highest Proof of Tequila? Juan Fifty Juan"

"Two tachyons are sitting in a gaming cafe when a normal particle walks in. The first tachyon looks over its shoulder and says, ""Fucking causals."""

"TIL that a class was taught by the wrong stand in teacher and the students knowingly went along with it. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Twitter has no plot, millions of characters, & it never ends. Basically, it's a ""Hobbit"" movie."

"The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians."

"Chuck Norris is considered to be high-class Norristocrat."