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Joke of the Day

"Two tachyons are sitting in a gaming cafe when a normal particle walks in. The first tachyon looks over its shoulder and says, ""Fucking causals."""

"What's the opposite of a basic Jew? A Hasidic Jew. (Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)"

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's baaaaaaaaaad!"

"I'm not interested in your cat unless it's on its 8th life and about to do something incredibly stupid."

"I just discovered a subreddit called /r/abs Turns out it wasn't about arabic culture."

"What is the scariest thing to read in braile? ""Do not touch"""

"Game Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time."

"I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list. I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard..."

"A woman calls the police claiming a one armed man is trying to kill her... They say to her ""don't worry about him mam, he's hARMLESS."""

"""It's beautiful today. Let's work outside."" *5 mins later* ""This was a terrible idea."" *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery*"