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Joke of the Day

"Your British accent is so attractive! If we had kids would they have British accents? We should do a scientific test & find out. For science"

"Politics have really just become an emotional beauty pageant But you know... Women's Rights"

"What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet? Jesus in a submarine."

"How do you REALLY confuse a gay person? Eight."

"How do trees get on the internet? They log in."

"What do you do when you get into a fight with a group of clowns? Go for the juggler. This is my favorite joke that I have read on here."

"I can always count on the local cemetery for free Mother's Day flowers."

"What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor? The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)"

"You like parachuting? That's messed up... you like the Paris Shooting!?"

"poor guy. The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries... Until I unpacked them all & said, ""That's how I want you to do it."""