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Joke of the Day

"I learned 2 things at least when I was married 1. Always passcode lock your phone 2. Don't use a nude pic of your gf as the lock screen"

"Go full Balrog on your college midterms! And do not pass."

"What's the worst thing a woman can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus ? He ended up in a flea circus !"

"Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest"

"Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!"

"Don't mess with me! I've got a black belt... It's brown on the other side."

"whips out Motorola razr and texts mom ""drive me to hot topic or none of my friends will love me"""

"Hear About the Restaurant on the Moon? Hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"I love Italian jokes. They really help the day go."