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Joke of the Day

"""I have too much time on my hands and I want to stew in a broth of my own filth."" - People who take baths"

"A day without sunshine is like, night."

"Hey girl, is your dad in jail? Because if I was your dad, I'd be in jail too."

"I'm not an expert on masturbating But I hold my own"

"Your mom is like a bowling ball she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, and she always comes back for more."

"All my friends say that I'm a psychopath. That's not true, I don't have any friends."

"A man goes into a library asking for a book on suicide... The librarian says ""F*** off, you won't bring it back."""

"What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird? A Doberman fincher!"

"Why can't Chinese couples have caucasian babies? Because two wongs dont make a white"

"So.. I woke my gf up with oral sex this morning -Oh wicked, what'd she say? -Thtoph, thtoph!"