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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I read something so offensive on Twitter that my monocle falls out of my eye and into my brandy snifter."

"""Why is that cotton candy talking?"" ""Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj"""

"kind of weird we punch the shit out of doors to announce our arrival at someone's home"

"Loltard: Someone who uses 'lol' too much."

"Why did the Chinese man tell a joke? Just China be funny."

"Boy are people gonna be upset when they find out the God Particle is black..."

"What if... Obama was secretly working for the government?"

"I have bathed in the blood of virgins! I had a nosebleed in the shower."

"{Police Job Interview} Captain: Go out & kill 5 Blacks, 3 Mexicans & a kitten. Recruit: Why kill a kitten? Captain: You're hired."

"My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever."