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Joke of the Day

"""You remind me of a man."" - ""What man?"" - ""The man with the power."" - ""What power?"" - ""The power of Hoodoo."" - ""Who do?"" - ""You do."" - ""Do what?"" - ""Remind me of a man."""

"*Interrogation room w/ murderer* I'd start talking, my partner isn't so nice... *From under the table I raise a puppet dressed as a cop*"

"What do Princess Di's coffin and a Queen Bee have in common? They're both filled with Royal Jelly."

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? A pizza doesn't beg me to keep going when I'm eating it."

"Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up. And throw them."

"The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then."

"Chuck Norris, the actor, film producer and screenwriter died in his house today at 76 years of age He is now feeling much better and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance"

"I saw a really lifelike portrait of Donald Trump the other day... ... it was really freaky how the hands followed you around the room."

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years."

"Could you buy me something cheap for lunch, please? Sure thing, how about the gluten? It's free"