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Joke of the Day

"Couldn't finish my plate of breakfast nachos, so now I'm furiously searching WebMD for what ails me."

"Q: Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? A: He wanted to see stars during the day."

"What did the Zero say to the Eight? ""Nice belt."""

"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night........ .......... should have put it on aloha heat."

"What's the difference between Marty McFly and a Bears fan? Eventually, Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985."

"(Translated from my mother tongue) What does a man do when he wants to end a marriage passively? He tries finding the expiration date on the marriage cirtifficate"

"My teacher told me that I am unique But when I told my mom what my teacher said she replied,"" Sweetie, just because you are autistic doesn't make you special""."

"Vampire who is obsessed with his diet. -Count Calories"

"What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill? Tsunami Warning"

"[scrabble] BATMAN: pass SUPERMAN: again? BATMAN: can't spell anything SUPERMAN: *rubbing temples* not every word has to start with BAT"