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Joke of the Day

"*dumps more fleas on my head* *sits back down in front of chimpanzee* So, anyway, like I was saying..."

"How do you know you're speaking with an engineer? Don't worry they'll tell you."

"Did you know the Mods on this sub are actually cows? Evidence listed below. [remooved]"

"Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down."

"What were Jeffery Dahmer's last words when confronted about social awkwardness leading to his crimes? ""If you can't eat them, boil them."""

"Heat or cold Which one travels faster, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch a cold."

"Don't you hate it when you're reflecting on life...... Then you realize you're a mirror. Thanks came up with this a bus ride I'll see myself out."

"What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? Boy Scouts come home from camp."

"What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis?"

"MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language."